So that's what being close to death feels like....

The Incident at the end of June

By

S. Gonzalez

　

　

Never saw it coming.

It was one of those moments that just completely destroyed my perception of human beings around me. Some will argue that I had it coming, but I will not touch base on that moment from months in the past. This was fueled by something different.

This was revenge.

I am not a patient man, nor do I allow stupidity from my fellow human beings. I speak the truth. I yearn for expression and the allowance of said free speech. Someone did not like it.

This was not a bar fight.

Funny typing these words in. I once worked for a very established pub, in door security no less. Ironic, the situation that I have found myself in. He was staring at me the whole night. How did I not notice? This was pre-mediated. I question myself. Did I deserve what happened in a lowly restroom, two large Aryan males to my homunculus self? Were my past transgression really worth the damage to well being as I received tonight?

No.

No.

No.

The exact words I yelled at my attacker, as he flung punch after brutal punch against me. I pleaded with him, all I could think of was, why? Why is this happening to me? What brought this to my door? I remember the girl slighted. At the wrong place at he wrong time. Helpful but willfully ignorant.

The sad thing. Before the brute unleashed his fury on my face, I defended her. I even said the words, “..she is a sweetheart, it’s just that she should have stayed out of it.” Afterwards I found myself against an assailant that only wanted blood. The very blood that stains my jeans as I type this story.

I clawed myself from his lethal embrace. Like a moron I even fought back with words, that this attack would not go unpunished. He growl, grapping for my throat. “You gonna call the cops motherfucker?” His breath against my cheek. I’m going to die.

Suddenly I resisted his yank on my neck. Got under his holds and scrambling pass his friend in the dark. Somehow the lights were turned off in the struggle. He did not best me, I fought him off and won.

I fought for my life.

I didn’t care about insults to honor.

I didn’t care about the whys.

I wanted to live.

I fought to scream HELP at the top of my lungs. For anyone to hear me.

…

His friend in the restroom never helped until the lights went out. Until the threat of police was rushed from lips. Only then did I get a seconds reprieve to escape that hell.

He couldn’t be found afterwards.

　

　

　

　

Later On

His girlfriend yanked him off as I lay on the ground. Looking at me as if brought this calamity to her. I pitied her, even now.

The cops arrived. One very nice male officer, doing his job. It was being labeled as a “Bad Bar fight”.

Of course as he went to talk the other officer he looked over and confessed that I attacked him.

I didn’t fight. I scoffed and faced the officer.

I never punched.

In this calm moment, I understand that I was the calmest person in the room. My hands didn’t shake as I wrote out the testimony. Nor when the girlfriend of the attacker, rudely telling me and my friend to leave. He even kept after me, even when the cops left. I shook my head as he looked around to shaking faces. “he jumped me.” “All of a sudden he just punched me.” I just laughed and shook my head. Fucking coward.

He wanted to kill me and now couldn’t face his failure.

I’m not even mad at him. Yet, I will seek full legal action. As, a lesson for everyone. Karma is a harsh mistress but, seek a peaceful resolution to disputes. I don’t hate the man, just wonder of the sad path he has chosen to walk.

I will not walk that path.

I’m stronger than he expected.

I survived him.

I continue ever onward.