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When i walk down the street looking above my in the blue sky
i look to my right but there's not even a dog i look to my left and noone there too but ol' Mr.Sunshine beams his smile down i lay in the grass with the brezze to comfort nature is the healer in which refuge is taken join me in the grass and sun bathe in the waters of my element it's the Age of Aquauris becuase it lives in my own mind. |
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Crazy everyday fun playtime life and the adventures of the modern man
Current mood:  ditzyCategory: Life
this is me
 .     These little fellas are my emotions everyday in "Life".
To tell storys use this instead. . it's fun. . .
I love to smoke
just really getting it works really great.
Sometimes even now i kissed my
becuase Incubus was playing "Drive" becuase i really want her to me too for that moment!
I wanted everyone to think i'm
 but it usually comes out very or maybe alittle and they get all out !
People at work can be abit
at times or i usually tend to stay at times for i don't have to be so all the damn time!.
I walk around as much as i can, it lets me be at peace.
but it always comes out like this:
walk around as much as can, it lets be at
The End
. . . . .
. .
DH
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Whoa looks like i am still learning things in seattle,i countiue to read up on all my favorite passions,even some new ones,and i can't wait to get hands on when i get to dallas!Life is a funny thing the way that there is a cycle of movement,for everything lost something new takes it's place.
my wants,need,and maybes are all joined within the sphere of change inside,i made a new purpose, i have discovered a new energy to help me,a new force behind my acension!I will conquer saturn with the help of balance,libra,and ride on the airs of aquarius and no man can stop me on my journey!a new journey in a old game that's always in motion. .
my help to all who read this is:"Life goes on, so walk in peace.Life waits for no man is such a true expression!"
i will learn,i will love,i will study,i will hurt,i will lose,i will win,but it all dosn't matter becuase it's all part of the circle!
peace
Steven
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It's about time i was honest about a part of my past that i have lied to myself about and now looking back can finally admit.About three years ago I found myself in a pickle,I was working at Starbucks and was finally hating that fucking job after a year and half.My buddies have been going to this one bar in Addsion,north of downtown dallas,on the corner of beltline and midway.This building man,this place of brick and wood,i could swear this lot was cursed.I learned that many,many owners have gone in and out of business at this place but i advance alittle too fast,well,anyway they take me to this place and for the life of me i can't reamber when this all went down.It could have been in June or July 02',anyway,Big Dog sports grill,this place was fucking great.
Perfect mixture of dark and dank,with cool bartenders that took care of you.I really just wanted to check out the dj becuase i really wanted to do that,man that was my goal to be up there playing music that all these people had to listen to while they enjoyed themselves.The guy that owned the joint was pretty cool and laid back,Steve like me,destiny is a funny motherfucker.So I ended talking Spence (the dj) to let me take some weekdays even got Steve to give me a shot,dude i was so fucking excited.All i can say those frist few days were tough and i found out that what i liked wasn't exactly top 40.I took the time to buy and look up as much about mainstream music i could but still blending in stuff people really never heard.It took time to master that and still make myself usefull even after i was done playing music.I think that in itself help me move past just dj to busboy,barback, and after so much shit and lies,which i learned was needed if you wanted to last,I be came a bartender and by this time;Spenece,couple of snotty,stuck-up cocktails,2 or 3 bartenders i was still there.I like to think the fact that i attached myself to Steve and all he had to teach really kept me from leaving,i felt i needed to be there.Steve was a great boss in some many ways but he couldn't run a bar for shit,we pretty much had to make sure the shit ran and make sure the money kept coming in but it wasn't easy.
He was his own downfall,he wanted a "better" cliente,clean and mature,someone that had loads of money and love to spend and so he started tearing away the Big Dog.Really just tearing it apart slowly,frist he tore down the divder wall to "open" up the bar,then painting the walls all sorts of colors,like a bad porn set.Putting up tiger and lepord print,a row of tv's right in front of the bar and not 3 or 4 but 10 ,taking out a brickwall segment on the "patio".During all this neverending revamp the customer base tryed to stay but the prices went from 1.50 beers to 2.00,2.50,2.75 and up every couple of weeks.
I saw a guy try to stab someone right in front of the dj booth lucky for the guy who was going to get stabbed i saw this guy coming and fucking whollered,WHAM,fucker gets laid the fuck out on the pool table just fucking bushwhacked by this guy and friend.Great times and Worst times i saw there in my three year sentence.
I learned lust and the pleasures of the flesh there,learn to really booze down while i played the hits on the weekends.I loved every mintue of it,girls coming and begging for their song,tits and ass is all i usaully saw all night.Me and Steve would clash about top 40 vs independent but he paid my daily cash so he won from the start.After awhile the booth was tore down so a computer i helped set up and load with songs to take over,saddest fucking day ever.
But i was still needed,bartender and barback to suckass bartenders that had no clue of my history or just didn't care.Well,anyhoo,so right about the end of the 2nd year with business just dying ,and Steve trying all sorts of stuff to keep the doors open it fucking starts.Desperte mesures doomed those not able to look foward,by this time all of the orignal cast is gone (except me of course),prices and specials were steady but high and bills just pouring in.
Sadly it was crew now of five or six by the middle of the 3rd year,by this time i was looking for a way out without trying to let Steve really take it serious so i wouldn't get fired ahead of time.I became bitter and sad when i looked around by then,a stranger in a once dark and beautful land.Thankfully i had some really cool regulars i started hanging out with that let me in on my current job,but i was so stupid to trust the suckup manger/bartender,Steve found out and one day while i was there enjoying a pint he fired me,turn in the key,his reason was that i was lying to him about not leaving when he asked me a couple nights ago if i were looking for another job.
FlashBack,one night in the start of the thrid year, some really crazy shit went down,Steve wasn't there and the bartenders got alittle crazy and the tape went missing.(trust me,no money stolen or liquer guzzed just sluts and shots) days after,and many finger pointing ,me and Steve clash,pure yelling from both sides,well not yelling so much as loud talking.I told him everything i was feeling,fucking jager,that even after all this time he still didn't trust me and how hard i work to make sure that he was always takin care of,oh man just emptyed my soul on him!
He told me to leave and tears forming i left but i came back to leave the keys but Steve didn't fire he just told me to leave,ha,must have been the fact that i was way drunk by this part!
So flash-foward and i am now being asked to leave the keys and my services were no longer needed,i already had the other job but that wasn't the case he wouldn't even let me finish the weekend.After 3 years i left with no shouting or just one request to finish of the weekend which was dismissed i left.I was angry and hated Big Dogs,hated that i spent so much of my life there,worked there ,slaved there and all for nothing.That made me think and it's funny now when i really look back on it. . .
i went back and made up with the place but it was just so dead by that time,no life at all, even when it was busy.i drank a couple and left,i would come in with my co-workers and throw some money into the place but never really partied like before.I stopped going one day.
Steve did me a favor,he let me go and i have learned that hard work without true focus leads nowhere.It closed 3 months later and even to this day is there with the sign on the front.My current job is right across the front,across the street and i saw that sign everyday i took the bus,or in a firends car or sometimes i would sit on the patio just smoking a ciggertte to think.I told everyone that i hated that place and that i didn't miss it but honestly. . . . . .i miss the memorys i lost there and the young man i left trapped in the place but i have to let that ghost fade.I look now at the man i am becoming and yes,i'm glad i worked there and got to know what dedication was,i wouldn't trade that dream of Big Dog sports grill for anything.
S.
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Amazing where u learn the little things that form life!Currently i am in Seattle catching up on some r&r so that i can face myself and others back home with a level mind.Which brings me to our current subject:"Finding yourself"
out of personal experence i thought that i was lost and that nowhere i looked was "home".the cloest thing to a brother was moving on and i was left behind and i think that was what made me so depressed that i had to pack up and leave.but before i even left the state all my friends showed me love and good farewells but still i was lost.the journey here to seattle gave me time to reflect and the time i spend here to refine my nature.i finally found that i didn't need to leave .so i find myself again on the crossroads but "this" time i have a better understanding and so here goes my wisdom of this still going expeience:
"When u are lost,just take time to reflect on what you have done and know that life countiues anyway so walk in peace."
so far this all i have but i'm still learning and would love to hear from others on the subject.
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i just had a great time with my friends from dallas, all of us had drinks and drama but all in one we loved the moment.i didn't care of anything except team and the emotion of us.To all my friends i gave this message!
"No matter HOW u live just luv each other!"
laterz
S.
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OK kids, television is such a huge place, full of wonder and amusement! Everyday i see different ads,brainwashing,and crap and i have learn that it's time to just lash out in a randomly placed blog.
1st: The Truth, anti-smoking ads
i approve of the shock tatics these "children" use to get their message of the dangers of direct or second-hand smoke from cigs. But after a while it's just fu8ckin stupid! The only people it effects are those who don't smoke, hey asshole i'm "in" the smoking section "lick my balls"
BUT come on! Who cares if smokers want to die from lung cancer, let them, you should think "gene-pool cleaning or glad it's not me" and walk the hell on. i quit smoking cigs 3 months ago with no problems and others have done the same thing.Smoking feels great but after ash breath and chest pain i suddenly thought it was time to quit. Nature is my anti-smoking influnce,"The Truth" is just the "man" in all his glory. Think about it, okay one day every smoker in america (just america) quit making cigs or everyone quit. Thousands of jobs lost, stores closings on a epic scale, cigrettes become crack or bootleged from mexico,but people live longer and get fatter, you won u fuckin hippies but so did big business they will create something to fill the void:BEER,and amercica loves beer.even madd can't do shit to the booze train.
think about it.
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okay this one is for the guys
look i know it's hard sometimes,from all sides you see hotties and perfect 10's,or okay to averge women.Dude,don't be a sap just know what you arfe looking for,some kind of traits that you look for.Once you know what kind of woman you want ,toss it all the fuck away.Not one will ever match it,some exceptions,but 90 fuckin f the time you just have to settle and you know it.But my Brothers there is another path,the path of self.
perfect yourself and your atmosphere,work on your "charcter"show "some"of your true self,bait on the hook and then be a hermit.
go out with friends,get comfy in your lifestyle and explore options in anything but getting laid.To perfect the beast you must tame him,perfect it and groom.Let life do what it fucking will and nature to suck it.If you don't find a "life-partner" fuck it,you're having fun aren't you?
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lesson 1
Current mood:  amused
i am still learning alot even now and somedays i see clear in the fog.i think i should be alittle more deep on the site something that can enlighten as well as entertain.
The frist law is that matter in time creates space.
Matter in itself is infused with energy,Engery in time creates matter.
think about it.
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cheerful
melancholy
content
artistic
aggravated
sympathetic